Soy sauce is evil
Dear Food Diary,
I was so good for an entire weekend - an entire long weekend, I might add, Easter weekend when normal people eat chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy, and things like pie or, in my case, matza and kugel and desserts that work around the fact that you can’t use baking powder for leavening. I ate salad and meatloaf that used quinoa flakes for filler, and roast chicken with boiled green beans. I drank black tea and tons of water. A kiwi one day; a roma tomato another day. My only indulgence was a couple of low-carb macaroon. (4 carbs per 2 pieces - you think I wasn’t counting? I know the carb count of everything that goes into my mouth. I didn’t eat after 6 PM, except for a little bit of sliced turked one night. I don’t think my carb count went over 40 grams on any given day. I took my fat burners and my nutritional supplements that help with my sinuses and my ... whatever it is that my mother sent me that is supposed to be good for me (and I trust my mother; she’s a gifted herbalist) and the glucosamine chondritin for my arthritis. I ran on the elliptical trainer in my home office. I lost a pound a day, and the whoop that came out of the bathroom as I got off the scale probably scared the upstairs neighbors. I lost 4 lbs over the course of 5 days. On Monday morning, that put me at the 60-lb weight loss mark.
And then there was yesterday. I started off the day much the same. Got distracted by work - 7:30 a.m. conference call from somewhere back east - and drank blank tea until I realized I was hungry. Meat and greens, and later chicken and greens. A few green grapes, a run on the elliptical trainer. Water, tea, water, tea. So far, so good. I ran out of the house at 5:00 to go to a networking event, and knew they would have food there. there, they had sushi. I’ve learned, for the most part to ignore food when I go out. It not so much ignore food as it is acting like a dog on a leash who sees a cat but has been trained not to chase the nice kitty even though its instinct is to RUN, RUN, CHASE IT, HUNT IT DOWN AND EAT IT. So I turn my back, stay at another end of the room, and pretend it’s not there. But another dynamic kicked in, and now I’m the one kicking myself. It’s convoluted but goes like this: Entry to the event is $15; probably 1/2 of that goes toward food. So there’s a sense of entitlement to partake of What My Money Bought. (This goes back to being excluded from events as a kid, but more about that another time.) I can get through that, most times, but I want to network beforehand, and where is everyone congregating? By the food, of course. So I stand somewhere near the back, not too close to the food, with my back to the food table. Someone hands me a bottle of water, and I gratefully accept. And drink, hoping the full feeling will stave off temptation. But just before the speaker starts, my friend takes a roll with her to her seat and I cave, and take a roll to my seat, too. I gingerly pick out the salmon, avacado, and cucumber, and even unroll the seaweed, leaving the rice in a white, glutinous mass in the clamshell container. I finish my water, and have no trouble ignoring the cookies on the table. After the session, I chat with the speakers and then run out, to my last conference call of the day, from 8:30 to 10:30 p.m., and drive home to fall into bed.
This morning I was up 1.5 lbs. Argggggh. And my fingers feel swollen. My ring barely goes past my knuckle. It’s the soy. The combination of wheat and fermentation is deadly. I know this. I know this. So why didn’t I think of it? I don’t know. I can gain weight faster than I can lose it, though, and this has been a setback that is making me crazy right now. So I’m back on the wagon today. A chunk of meatloaf, and take my own lunch for later. I have to go from appointment to appointment today, and won’t get home till 7 PM, likely, so there won’t be much temptation, except for at the coffee meeting. But I’ve pretty well trained myself to be turned off by any baked goods, so I’m safe there. But when I get home, it will be after 6 PM, and if I eat after 6 PM, I won’t have lost any weight in the morning, so I have to manage my food carefully today. Must eat mid-afternoon. What a chore to have to process all this. OK, off to pack my lunch and computer up, and get to my first appointment.